Kiss me on the mouth and set me free, but please don't bite
by SgtBuckyBarnes
Summary: Only one man has the capability to fix and crush Bucky with the smallest signs of affection, but Bucky cannot be fixed when too badly broken.
1. A Frozen Heart

**This is a fanfic based on the Steve Rogers x James Buchanan Barnes pairing, it will be quite depressing as I was given inspiration for this from the song "Bite" by Troye Sivan, HOWEVER (!) It will have a happy ending when completed :). In this there maybe a character death (it won't be anyone like Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha etc...) BUT I haven't decided yet... so yeah... enjoy :D!**

 **1\. A Frozen Heart**

It was July 4th, Independence day for The United States, and, of course, Steve Rogers' birthday, all the avengers as well as the S.H.I.E.L.D agents which he personally knew were watching "28 days later" on the huge plasma TV in the lounge during the night as a thunderstorm hammered on outside. Everyone was glued to the screen until Natasha stopped the movie, "I'm going to get more popcorn" she announced as she slapped Clint's leg which he had put across her lap, "It's comfortable like this though.." he whined before moving it and Natasha got up as she playfully shoved the child like man. "Does anyone want anything?", She asks as she looks around at everyone who were either draped by blankets on the sofa or sitting on cushions on the ground, "Ooo, what about some more beer maybe?" Sam asks hopefully and Nat smiles, "Of course I can do that", she says before walking off into the kitchen. "What time is it?" Bucky asks with a yawn as he nudges Sam who he is sharing a blanket with, "It is... 2:05 am" Sam says as he whips his watch out from under the blanket. "I better be going up then", Bucky replies as he wriggles him self free from the blanket and stands up off the sofa before stretching, "I was personally surprised you lasted this long to be honest old man", Sam says with a smirk and slowly Bucky turns around before stripping off the blanket from Sam and throwing it in Tony's face, who happened to be on the floor behind him. "Thanks Bucky..." Tony mumbles before pushing the blanket off him to spot Sam's shocked face and laughing, "That was the worst thing you could do to any man!", Sam exclaims while still looking mortified, "You're not a man, you're a rat with wings" Bucky says as he turns to face Steve to tell him Happy Birthday, however he quickly plays off his turning around to talk to Steve as going to make his way towards the stairs once he saw Steve laughing with his arm draped round Sharon with her curled up in his side. As Bucky left, Tony's expression quickly changed as he sat next to Sam and whispered to him alone, "Did you also notice how he flinched every time there was either thunder or lightning going off?" Tony asked, "How could you not?", Sam replied as he took another drink from his can of beer, "That's why I annoyed him into sitting next to me", Sam continued, "It was good of you to do that Sam because Steve obviously was too fixated on Sharon to notice his PTSD was being triggered", Tony said before smiling at Natasha as she came back from the kitchen with popcorn and beer. "I have beer and I have popcorn", she exclaims as she lifts them up high to show them off before placing them down on the coffee table. "Where's Bucky gone?", she asks as she sits back in her original place next to Clint, "He's gone to bed", Sam says, "Oh... Should I go up and check on him?" Natasha asks as she focuses on Tony and Sam. "Nah... He'll be fine, he looked exhausted..." Sharon says chirpily as she rubs Steve's chest, instantly Sam's eyes narrow on her in annoyance; How could she know? She hasn't even looked at him once today?. Sensing the anger building in Sam, Natasha asks, "Shall we continue to movie then?", and she presses play on the remote.

 _Meanwhile..._

Bucky could hear the faint murmur coming from the lounge of the TV and knew that they wouldn't be able to hear him from downstairs so he proceeded into his room before locking the door and strolling over to the window which reaches from the floor to the ceiling, once he reached it he then sank beside it before watching the rain assault the glass. In the silence of his room his mind is plagued by the way Steve and Sharon were flirting throughout the movie; _You were stupid to think he could love you... Who would love a monster when you can have a beautiful woman... They are probably laughing about you right now... He will never love you..._ "STOP IT" Bucky screams as he grips his hair, "Just... stop", he repeats with the sound of him being broken evident in his voice before breaking down and crying against the glass. "Stop reminding me of something I can't have", he pleads as he looks mindlessly across the view of Manhattan before a flash of lightning plunges him back into WWII with the image of a shell exploding right in front of him...

 _. . . . . . ._

After the flash of lightning and rumble of thunder Clint immediately looks towards the stairs noticing the sound of screaming in the background, "Natasha stop the movie", he says and Natasha shrugs as she reaches for the controller and presses the pause button, "What, do you need to tinkle or get mo-.." She teases before pausing as the loud screams of Bucky can be heard coming from upstairs. Instantly Steve detaches himself from Sharon and sprints up the stairs before reaching Bucky's door and he frantically tries to open the door before noticing it is locked, instinctively he breaks the lock with sheer force and runs over to bucky before kneeling in front of him and embracing the shivering man tightly. "Shh Bucky you're not there, you're with me... Wake up Bucky", Steve coos before planting a hand on each side of Bucky's face and lifting it to immediately notice Bucky cannot hear or have any recognition of Steve's presence due to him being lost in his flash back. Steve then closes the distance between them and stops Bucky's screams with a soft and tender kiss which snaps Bucky out of his state, after a few seconds Steve pulls back from the kiss and looks at Bucky to see his eyes were closed before slowly opening a few seconds later and he blinks blindly transfixed on what just happened. "Is he okay?", Sharon asks as she rushes in but is then quickly grabbed to a halt by Sam, "Well he is much better now he just suffered from his PTSD because none of us checked on him due to you believing he was fine", Sam says with thick sarcasm. "Lay off her butterfly", Natasha says with sympathy lacing her facial expression as she looks over Bucky which is crying into Steve's shoulder. "Oh great, the door has to be replaced" Tony exclaims before covering his mouth as he realizes how insensitive he was... also the fact that Clint, Sam and Natasha are all glaring at him as if they could kill him. "Guys go back downstairs and continue the movie I'll take care of Bucky", Steve says as he continues to rub Bucky's back, and before Sharon could protest Natasha pulls everyone out of Bucky's room and drags them downstairs, were a few seconds later the soft mumble of the tv could be once again heard.

"Bucky..." Steve coos and to respond Bucky takes his head out of Steve's shoulder and faces him with tears continuing to run down his face, "Oh Buck... What have they done to you?" Steve asks as he wipes the tears away from Bucky's cheeks. Immediately Bucky softens into Steve's touch and remembers the kiss which occurred before Sharon came into the room, "I meant it you know?" Steve says as he interrupts Bucky's thoughts as if he could read what Bucky was dwelling over, "The kiss... I meant it..", he repeated and instantly Bucky drops Steve's gaze, "No you didn't", he mumbles sullenly and Steve picks up his face before once again inching closer to Bucky, "Why would you think that?" he asks softly and as a tear runs down Bucky's face he answers, "Because you love Sharon".

 _dun dunn dunnnn..._

 **To be continued...**


	2. Russian Doll

**Yes... I know I kind of ruined the mood with the dun dun dunnn... but oh well, this chapter will be quite hard hitting I believe so prepare yourselves for me being relentless on your emotions but at least it makes you more happy when all turns out splendid :) Enjoy!**

 **2\. Russian Doll**

Steve sat there reading Bucky's broken facial expression as if he was an open book; did Bucky honestly believe he loved Sharon?... Does Steve actually _love_ her?... As Steve questioned his conflicted emotions Bucky quickly realised he wasn't going to get the quick and easy answer he was hoping for and rebuilt his wall so Steve couldn't see how he was breaking because of this, instead he flashed his usual smirk and shoved Steve's shoulder playfully, "I knew it" Bucky whispered with no hint of hatred in his tone. "You llllooooovvvveeeee her", Bucky teased, "No... I... I don't know Buck... it's complicated, She's amazing... but so are you...", Steve replies as if he was lost in his own thoughts. "Tell her you dork, go back downstairs now and tell her", Bucky says as he smiles softly to reassure Steve that he was okay, "I don't know Buck..." Steve stutters while dropping Bucky's gaze, "That was an order", Bucky quickly commands and he shoves Steve before ushering him out of his room, "And Steve... Happy Birthday", Bucky says softly as Steve pulls him into a hug for one last time before making his way down the stairs to rejoin the others.

Once Bucky had shut the door to his room; some what successfully due to the busted handle, he broke... He was alone once again and was worst then he was before, the man he loved played a cruel game and Bucky had lost; _She's amazing.._ , those two words twisted by a vile hatred which burned deep within his heart. At this point Bucky quickly stripped himself of his shirt feeling over whelmed with the burning poison which ran through his veins; _Make her your mission... Destroy her...Crush her in your gras-_ , his thoughts were then abruptly interrupted as he plunged his face into a sink filled with ice cold water to then look up into the mirror and see his eyes had drawn weary by the mental conflict which was unstitching the delicate make shift bonds holding his heart together. _Look at you... you are pathetic... Steve wants a fighter not a coward like you_ , his mind sings as he scans over his facial features before he pulls back his right arm and breaks the glass in one swift punch which shatters the whole mirror. Immediately Bucky falls down into the shattered glass grasping his right wrist in pain with it evidently fractured due to the immediate bruising which is quickly covered by the blood that freely streams from the multiple gashes on his hand caused by the glass. "It'll... heal", he hisses as he looks up at the mirror frame to see broken glass marinated in fresh crimson blood with broken plaster visible where his fist made impact with the mirror. _Nice work... monster_ , his mind haunts him with before he carefully rises from the shattered glass on the floor and rushes into his bedroom to crash down on to his bed where he still holds his wrist in agony. "Fuck...Shit..." Bucky hisses as he attempts to apply pressure to the wounds without further aggravating the fracture and after a few seconds he cries out in frustration mixed with pain and cradles his arm as he kneels on bloody sheets weeping.

"Bucky, it's Tony... I know it's bad timing at 3am however this door nee-... Oh my god...", Tony says as he pushes open the broken door to see Bucky shirtless and covered in his own blood while crying and hiding his arm from view. "Shhh Tony please, don't, please... don't get anyone", Bucky pleads as Tony pushes the door shut behind him and examines the blood stained carpet and sheets before rushing into the bathroom where a pool of blood covers the tiles on the floor, "Did you smash the mirror!" Tony whispers in a scolding manner but as he turns back to Bucky he notices the childlike innocence behind his tired eyes and immediately sympathises with him. "Bucky... what happened?" he asks softly as he approaches him carefully holding out his arms to gesture Bucky to allow Tony see his arm. Slowly he moves his arm into Tony's gentle grasp, "I... don't know... everything is agony... I can't... I can't... it hurts... I can't breathe... I can't live...", Bucky opens up and instantly Tony understands him... _his pain_...his life, he's not living... he's drowning... "Uh- I need to get bandages because despite your healing capabilities the bleeding is ridiculous, the fracture should heal quickly however without the bleeding stopped you have no chance" Tony says after realising he has been staring at Bucky for a matter of seconds. "Don't tell him" Bucky pleads once more as he grabs Tony's shirt when he got up to leave immediately knowing who Bucky is referring to. "I won't" Tony says as he puts a hand on Bucky's shoulder and proceeds to walk out Bucky's room and down the stairs to find bandages.

"Clint... you know where the first aid kit is don't you?" Tony whispers into Clint's ear without disturbing anyone else and immediately Clint gets up after predicting why it is needed and exclaims, "I need to tinkle" which is rewarded by a snort from Natasha and a raised eyebrow from Sam. "Okay solider... tinkle as you please", Natasha says with a laugh as Clint gets up and rushes up stairs followed by Tony which yelled after him, "Oh not on the seat you're not". As Clint reached the landing he immediately rushes into his room and grabs the first aid kit in his wardrobe before rushing into Bucky's room where he sees Tony with one arm around Bucky while sitting next to him on the bed. "Shut the door", Tony whispers and Clint looks puzzled at the broken handle and pushes the door to before hastily making his way to Bucky's side where he immediately grabs bandages out from the box. "What happe-", "He punched the mirror, fractured his hand and got multiple deep cuts", Tony interrupts Clint knowing what Clint was asking of him, Clint then silently goes to his business and checks the wounds for mirror shards before bandaging up Bucky's wrist. "Thank you", Bucky murmured as he raises his wrist out of Clint's grasp, "No problem pal, however... I think you should stay in Steve's room tonight as he will not want you to be alone after finding out what happened... also...he will literally murder me and Tony knowing we let you sleep alone after this", Clint says and if on cue Steve charges into the room with a horrified expression on his face as he scans the room and Bucky...

 _uh oh... unhappy star spangled man with a plan..._

 **to be continued...**


	3. Saviour

**Yes, yes I know... the last chapter was a tad dark but oh well I brought Steve back to play... but how will he react to Bucky's state?!**

 **3\. Saviour**

"Oh my god, Buck", Steve says as he rushes over to Bucky's side before grabbing his friend into a tight embrace, "What the hell happened?!" he then yells at Clint who just sits there opening and closing his mouth as if he was a goldfish. "He punched the mirror in his bathroom which fractured his hand and caused several deep gashes", Tony interrupts to save Clint from Steve which was sending him a murderous glare, "Both of you go downstairs and send people to bed", Steve orders and instantly Clint scrambles to his feet before charging out the room, "What about Sharon?", Tony asks cautiously. "I made no mistake in what I said... send everyone to bed", Steve replies before Tony nods and follows Clint downstairs. "Come on Buck... Let's get you into my room, you can stay there till Tony get's this cleaned up", Steve says softly as he releases Bucky from the embrace and helps him up, "I know what you are thinking Steve..." Bucky says blankly, "You think I'm unstable and a danger to myself",he continues, "Buck I-" Steve says before Bucky pulls away from him and glares at the bewildered solider, "Well you're wrong! I was _fine_ without you, but then you came back into my life and broke me again, the only one hurting me is you because I love you, but then you want more, you _deserve_ more you're Captain fucking America and who am I? Oh yes, the mass murderer, trained assassin, The brilliant Winter... Solider", Bucky exclaims as his facade breaks and he is left shivering and crying in front of Steve who after a few seconds walks slowly towards distraught man in front of him. "Bucky... The only person telling you that I don't want you... Is yourself... I have always wanted you, you are the most precious person in my life... Heck, We grew up in Brooklyn together Buck", Steve says while smiling as he reminisces over his childhood with Bucky, and as Steve mentioned Brooklyn Bucky looks up wide eyed to catch Steve's gaze. "And you know what? You were my hero back then Buck... and you still are now, and I love you more than I ever could love _anyone_ else", Steve continues before planting a soft kiss onto Bucky's lips. "But Sharon...?", Bucky asks dropping Steve's gaze once more, "I love you... more ...than anyone else, WHICH includes Sharon, Buck", Steve responds with a gleaming smile which is rewarded with a light chuckle coming from Bucky as he catches Steve's gaze once more. "Now", Steve says as he swings an arm round Bucky's shoulder, "Let's get you to my room",he continues as he directs Bucky to his room.

After they both walked into the room Steve locked the door behind them and continued into the bathroom before calling, "I wont be a second Buck", this left Bucky alone to his own adventures of what Steve's room was like, at first he casually gazed at Steve's possessions noting that he had many figurines of the "star spangled man with a plan" scattered on Book shelves which he obviously got sent by his fans, but he was suddenly drawn away from them when the room illuminated with warm colours such as pink, green and orange. Immediately Bucky searched for the source and quickly discovered it was from fireworks which were being set off outside and slowly Bucky approached the large window and placed his hand on the glass as he got lost in the beautiful display. "Bucky do you want-..." Steve says as he opens the door but immediately he cuts his question as he is caught off guard by Bucky who was smiling as the colours of the fireworks light up his face... he looked _truly_ _beautiful..._ Steve then took a steady breath in before approaching the man and standing directly behind him as he links an arm around his waist, "I was going to ask if you wanted a shirt... but now I'm not going to allow you to get one", Steve says into Bucky's right ear as he kisses him gently on the neck before turning back to the view of the fireworks. They stood there in a peaceful silence for a matter of minutes before Bucky lets out a laugh as he says, "The last time I saw fireworks you were still a bean sprout", and immediately Steve gasps before tightening his grip round Bucky's waist and dragging over to the bed, "Right you, I thought we agreed on no Bean sprout jokes you jerk", Steve says before throwing Bucky onto the bed on his back as he laughs, "Please, no, I'm injured remember", Bucky pleads as he tries to steady his breathing as Steve crawls on top of him. "Now, now, Buck we both know that it is already healing", Steve says before latching his hands onto Bucky's waist and tickling the man under him.

 _d'awwww..._

 **Short chapter I know but it was pretty sweet :3**


End file.
